I can't verify my identity.

I got an email from #3 saying I don't qualify to co-sign a loan for her grad school. Having single mommed since she was 10, my credit score IS probably saggier than my breasts but, come on. So I skip lunch and go to a credit report place on-line. I use my home email address so it doesn't bug my school account. Ran home this evening and as I swear on my goddess self, the following is all true.
I get to the part where I have to use information to prove my identity. I get two right but can't move any further. SO I call the number given, listen for the options on the cell phone path of life and finally have the opportunity to converse with a LIVE person.
"Hello, can I help you?"
"Yes, I am having problems getting past the identity verification. I'm afraid I don't have the numbers you need."
"I'm sure we can walk through it. Let's begin. Can you give you former address. So I reply ### O'Neill *******in && @@@@. "
"That is incorrect."
"No, that is correct. I know, I lived there."
"Possibly you might want to try a post office box?"
"Well I don't think they will let you live in a Post Office Box. But I have one currently and it is PO Box ###."
"Thank you. That is your former address. Now the one before that?"
"Actually, that is my current box number and my current residence is $$$$ ****** Drive in the same city. My former address, as I said before is #### O'Neill ******."
"We indicate that as your second previous address. Let's use some account numbers for verification next. On your student loans, what is your account number?"
"Well actually, there are three accounts. Two parent loans and one student loan. I am not sure what those numbers would be since they are automatic in my checking account. Which one do you refer to, K's or T's?"
"Maam, I wouldn't know who they are for, they are listed as obligations you have."
"That is true, they are mine. I don't even know where those numbers would be."
"How about you tell me what the payment monthly is?"
"I think they are about $360 a month altogether but maybe one or two went up this fall again...they do that at specified times."
"That is not what this one is for."
"If you could tell me who, I might be able to tell how much."
"I'm afraid you are suppose to verify for me."
"Sorry, can we try something else?"
"How about you tell me the month and year these payments began Mrs. R."
"Well K graduated in 1999 and then + 4 years of college + 2.5 years in the Peace Corps so about Sept. 2005. Is that good?"
"No, that is incorrect..."
"Okay, T would be 2000 +4 but I think I started paying the year before so 2003 in Jan."
Heavy sigh..."No. Let's try a car loan."
"I have had some of those."
"Good. Bank used?"
"Yes, Overland maybe?"
"No."
"I am pretty sure the Sable was at Overland."
"That is not the make I am referring to."
"Oh, the Honda Accord 1996."
"Yes, which bank and what were the payments?"
"I don't know the bank and the payments were for about 320 dollars."
"No, that does not match the records."
"You're kidding. I'm sure that is right. How about we go back to former addresses. I could give you the address to the last home I owned rather than rented."
"No, any other house would be too far back to be worthy for verification."
"Oh, but I owned all the others."
"How about we try a store credit card?"
"I don't have any store credit cards."
Long silence.
"Do YOU think I have a store credit card?"
"Yes you do."
"No I don't!! I cancelled all my cards when I was falling behind so my credit would not end up killing me."
"Would you like to tell me when you opened the store credit card?"
"Why don't you tell me where the store is. I need to get this inactive. It is inactive isn't it? It better be inactive because I don't even know I still have one."
"Maam, I can't release any information. You are suppose to verify for me."
"Okay, this is weird. I don't have my kids's numbers for loans. They are mine, being paid monthly and I am bad because I am not even sure for how much monthly. I have not had a residence between the two house addresses because I couldn't live in a PO Box and my cars have been paid off for so long that I can't even be sure what the payments were. I have found out I have a store account somewhere which might or might not be active and I don't seem to be able to verify who I am. What can we do?"
"Maam, could you tell me when the car payment began?"
"Sure, in August. #3 got hit my an uninsured Mexican in Mat. The Sable was totalled so I detasselled to earn the down payment."
"Which year?"
"I don't know. #4 was still in high school and maybe #3 also. So 1998, 1999."
"Maam, there isn't much current here to go with."
"I know. I live with my boyfriend. Share half the living expenses but the bills are all in his name. Maybe he should send me in a credit report for a current piece."
She didn't laugh. Maybe she thought I meant piece in a dirty way. I wish I had been so witty.
"Maybe you would like to look this all up in your paperwork and call back."
"I don't have paperwork. Maybe I should just cancel."
"I will give you that number.### ### ####. Is there anything else I could help you with?"
"No, I just need to get my identity back. Thanks."

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Being a goddess is not easy.